dollies

bad luck.

2005-03-05T21:05:00.000-08:00

call me unlucky or what?
first
-money
then
-handphone
yrrrh ... forget it. i'm not talking about it.
ass him.

2005-02-23T02:49:00.000-08:00

here are some pictures again(:

its vincent and joshua.

group of guys.

mostly the people of faith. but i'm sorry cant see pohling's head.):

picture.

2005-02-22T01:18:00.000-08:00

here are some pictures NOT all which i took with him.
yea but i like them all. (:

yar. and i love this picture. hah ...

(: thats vincent. we at the airport

you took this of me. at RELC

he called.

2005-02-20T05:03:00.000-08:00

just recieved your call.
tho it wasnt as long as yst but yeah.
i controlled i had to.
haha just finish doing my home econ coursework. came back just now with charissa cause went out with her to holland.
well ... it isnt that bad after all. you're gonna call me once a week and we still msg but its abit ex but yea. i'll pray for you. remember to take care.
will wait for your next call. (:

the 2nd day.

2005-02-19T17:05:00.000-08:00

its takes time.
yesterday after tuition talked to ah pao. and saw his display pic and plus he told me stuff i started tearing again. i tried not to think but ...
even when i was on my way to my aunt's house for steamboat i teared.
when i was alone in my cousin's room i started crying.
then i recieved an sms from his sis saying that he touched down and all along i was talking to ah pao on the phone. then we tried calling his hp but it was either off or nobody picked up. then later about 8 plus goin g to 9. vincent called me haha was damn happy. but while talking i cried. i miss him i din know what to say to him. but we talked and all. hah (:
but then never did i know i teared on my home too. sighhs ):
then when i return home, i went straight to bed and cried and cried.
and cried myself to sleep.
was hoping to see you online i woke up 8 plus to see if you were but you were not but that didnt upset me. i saw your msg.
am waiting for your call tonight.(:

vincent

2005-02-18T20:50:00.000-08:00

first it was debbie leaving then shalini transferred then now its vincent. everybody seems to be leaving. sighhs*

the UNEXPECTED.
he left and all so sudden. i wasnt really prepared for the sudden disappearance. imagine since sec 1 till now we've been through a lot. all misunderstandings, small arguments but i've never hold it to heart. well i just came back from the airport. he came downstairs my house to meet me in the morning like at 6 and went to the airport together.
known each other for -3 years and 2 months.
remember sec 1 though wasnt really close but did sms and hangout after school.
secondary 2. we were seating partners and that brought us close. recalling we would draw each other's hands.
many things happened that year but we were still friends eventually.
sec 3. when we chose subjects we got into different classes but yet we were still close. had many things. remember the rings? the necklaces? and those shirts i got for you. we would often meet before going to school. have breakfast at kopitiam. there was once we went to jalan kayu in the morning to eat prata. sometimes would accompany me home. always sms-ing each other. would often talk/sms thru the night. always joking around. hangout. took neoprints together. the camp when our first hug. came my house to talk.
secondary4. would hangout. accompany me on the phone when on my way home. accompany you to take the test. came my house to dye hair. went to watch movie "seed of chucky". went to school together. sometimes would take bus home together. accompany me not to eat during recess. alomost every hour sms-ing. took a lot of pictures together.
all these were memories you left me. all these years we were always there for each other. problem-sharing.

when i knew it was my last time i could see you after the 2 years. it was saddening. yar everyone knew i was going to cry. when i saw andy crying i couldnt hold back and cried. knew it was of no use, everyone too. went over to valerie and his mum and hugged them. it was comforting and his mum was nice and said if there's anything i could call themand so exachanged no with his sis. but still his gone returning only after 2 years. as i said i'll pray for you and yes i will. i'll just have to adapt without calling vincent in class of FAITH and not sms-ing to the name VINCENT and cant dial the no 96276997 but calling out to him in my dreams and just wait-
after sending him off to the gate. went up to the gallery hoping to see his plane fly but there was some renovation. i just stood there crying. and then he called me. elated but crying i couldnt say anything but told him to take care. then again he called me and said that he was boarding then again i couldnt say anything then he msg me and told me to take care and good luck and i just said to sms me when he reach hope he does. now the only thing i could do is just wait-

never ever mention his name in school nor talk about him in front of me please. THANK YOU. guess its best that way.

dedicated to vincent.

2005-01-26T04:21:00.000-08:00

this entry shall be specially dedicated to vincent:

the entry which you actually prayed its not stupid but the way you think is.

lets put it. GOD wont blame you if you actually dont pray to him. he'll always live in you. he has always been there not only for you but for all of us. always from up above looking down ... we're his children. he aalways hear our prayers, yes he does. each time i prayed for you he seem to answer every of it. he's always so powerful. just close your eyes and think of GOD and you'll see him. the prayer below goes to you:

dear lord,
hoping that you'll watch over everyone of us and give us the strength each day no matter what happens,give us the courage to stand up, yes lord. and dear lord i pray for vincent's test that he actually score and go overseas and may you watch over him where ever he is. pray that he'll actually feel your prescence and ours too so that he wont be so lonely, at least he knows somebody there's with him to help him, to guide him. lord may you help vincent to see the rights and wrongs so that he wont do the wrong things and that may he hear your voice each time he's confuse, hoping you'll tell him, lead him to the right path so that he'll never have regrets. praise the lord. all this i pray in jesus name, AMEN.

2005-01-26T04:09:00.000-08:00

okay. i seriously want to watch PHANTOM OF THE OPERA. lol.
anyway ... i'm proud and happy of MYSELF. stepfanie chen .. i practically decorated the front board and i like it a lot. hah yea.

i've been going school early these few days. to the bus stop to meeet vincent then go school. yea ... and i haven got vincent's present. NO i only got half the present, there's another half which i'm finding then it'll be a complete one. (: and its gonna be a big present kays. YOU should feel honoured. YES you do huh. righht ... and so..

on monday .. accompanied vincent to take his 2nd test. OH MY! the waiting was so long we turned up early and was suppose to be at 4.30? in the end pass 4.30 and we waited for what? one and a half hour. i was so bored and tired like what the hell. so did homework and the rest of the time i just sat there. yeaa .. vincent came out and he was like saying he like freaked out. he was scared i mean who wouldnt? righht yea. then we actually went town before going to RELC- where vincent took his test. yea to buy my school shoes. har .. yupps.

tml's lesson is boring yea totally. today's lesson too. har .. only like what? 3 sub but it took the whole day. yrrrh might as well dont go to school. but there's one thing. I LOVE MATHS! its soo damn fun. i love it mann. hah i dont mind doing the same question like what 3 times? haha .. yea if only i chose A maths but that'll be so terrible huh. well too bad.

a long one.

2005-01-21T15:17:00.000-08:00

okay. its been long time since i updated about daily things so here it goes .. i promise you its gonna be a long one. from last week till now.

okay .. my grandma have been admitted into hospital again and she's staying there longer than the last time and till now she's still there. i was so scared that i totally din know what to do. its my grandma so close to me and obviously i would feel afraid ritght ? yea .. so like after school would make my way down to visit her but hasnt been doing that for the past few days cause was tied up with something. ya and that day when grandma was admitted i was with charissa! hah yea man charissa. we went holland and thanks babe! haha ... we went to this shop and tried on to this dress .. wow` i tell you it was gorgeous. took a picture of it. i love 2 of their dresses one was like a corset back and one was tube dress. charissa liked it too , how we wish we could buy that down but guess the cost? the tube one was 299 and the other was 397. yea .. holland is great! trying to go there again cause haven been free.

okay then on thursday. it wasnt really good for me i totaly had no mood for it. okay its personal .. sighhs* i'm not gonna interfere much and i wouldnt want to know anything about it.

yea and yesterday. was jian liang's birthday .. happy birthday there. was suppose to go out with shalini together with vincent, darren and his gang. then i called audrey down then in the end shalini couldnt make it. so then nvm. went town in the morning with mum cause she went to the salon to do her hair then took a lift there. then went shopping myself before meeting audrey then went to meet her and went to shop again before meeting the guys.

then went lido wanting to catch 'seed of chucky' and we did. but we sat like first row. we were lucky cause there was a long queue then was afraid tickets would be sold out by the time we reach the ticket booth yea. and its NC 16. only me, audrey and vincent catch a movie. the others watched it already and was suppose to watch 'elecktra' but they din want so forget it. they went shopping. yea so back to NC 16 .. we pass off as 16. that auntie and uncle din even check our ID hah. yea that movie? was okay .. yar. then went cine to find the guys, shop alittle while there then went centrepoint cause i needed to find BEN from simont to help me make the necklace. then after that went to eat at COFFEE BEAN then slack then awhile. man .. i kept laughing this group of guys are sure nice to be with i never fail to laugh when i'm with them. (: yea .. then head home.

i want to watch PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.

birthday.

2005-01-18T04:57:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VINCENT;

will update tml. (:

shalini left.

2005-01-13T02:45:00.000-08:00

saddened-.
shalini transferred school. was so sad that i cried. i couldnt bear to see her leave.
i'll MISS you man.
"sweetie.. dont worry if anything i'll always be here so is my no. dont hesitate to call yea? you're one sweet thing god gave me and i thank god for that. tho we only had small talks and hangout once in awhile but you've been a really nice and wonderful and left not only me memories but to aneurin too and all of us. we MUST meet up soon yea. i LOVE you my sweetrum*"

2005-01-09T05:30:00.000-08:00

violet! i'm HAPPY! haha ... talked. lol i'm over the skyyy. and one more thing violet .. i MISS you man "boyfriend".

grandma's hospitalised! sighhs* was so scared and worried i cried!
it was friday after school i went to her house cause she was sick and was there till night. then my grandma started to lose her sense of direction and she couldnt walk .. talk and move. that was when i had tears. we didnt know what to do so we called for the ambulance yea followed with her in the ambulance and like reach home at only 12 plus. was like soo tired. but my grandma sure is better now. (:

sick!

2005-01-06T01:18:00.000-08:00

WEAK. w-e-a-k is the word to describe- ME! just the second day of school and i'm down with cough and flu. those germs, virus is all around. imagine the flu bugs are so harmful that you'll never know when it hit you. well... alysia, audrey, evelyn and even my grandma are sick! all down with cough, flu and with a fever. this spells how fast the virus is spreading among us. so i stayed at home yesterday and today yea.

shall talk about school some other day yeaa.

2005.

2005-01-01T03:27:00.000-08:00

uh-huh yea baby .. dance and dance! lets groove and shake our booties!
in the end i went countdown and only came back at 5 this morning. wow damn tired esp my legs .. my knees and feet are hurting! woke up only at 4? that explains how tired i am.

went chinatown with my mum first cause she had to go there for something then yea then i din want to stay in chinatown any longer cause mum had to go then alysia is not here yet so went over to violet's house wahaha ... yea stayed there for awhile then took a cab down to town- far east cause it was raining so had no choice. yea then went to had dinner cause me and violet were having gastric. goshh ... then went down to cine to meet up with audrey and ally haha we were all dress up differently like so cool each have our own style. yea then zenn suggested to go chinablack. go there clubbing.

reach there we got the ticket at a cheaper price but was suppose to be at 20 then when we reach they said it was 23. yrhhh ... then the barker guys were there so dance with them. drink a few sips only not a lot ... so yea. legs hurt cause we wore heels to dance la like so stupid but yea ... just kept dancing all night with the guys. but still i like dancing with - haha .. and not forgetting VIOLET andd ALLY! wow ... best dancing partner ever! lol. anyway babes .. we shall go club again yea? haha

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

new year's eve

2004-12-30T22:08:00.000-08:00

today's new year's eve. cool eh .. another countdown . but am so bored... always going town town and town. i might not be going countdown today ... its like so boring nothing to do. whats more belle and violet may not be going well i dont know. i might and might not. (: not much to update. except that i went to watch "london voodo"yesterday-NC16. lucky we're able to pass off as 16 har. a good show but very violent man. want to watch "seed of chucky" today but not sure if we're able to pass off as 18. probably not cause its strict. yea ...

these days i cant stand people who keeps asking and telling me stuff which i dont care i mean like i'll feel irritated la. some lame people doing lame things .. irritats me la like DARREN! yrrrh. so ass .. school's reopening soon and i said that i'll sit alone i mean i really am and want to concentrate, listen in class so its better. i mean its better to sit alone right? then jing jie and me were talking and was like came to a point where we said people might say things if he sits with me. then i was like only CHILDISH people says that. i mean yes right? dont you have something better to do than to tease or do a childish act/say. yrrrh why cant people grow up? think maturedly ? i mean its time yea. come on ... GROW UP!

2004-12-27T22:13:00.000-08:00

deb's leaving today. i'm so sad that she have to go sighhs*. well christmas is just over! so is alysia's birthday .. well many things happened there at alysia's chalet so it sort of took my sorrows away. i'm so happy i finally can not think about it. i mean you're out of my mind aredy! (: its good isnt it? let go! soo many things happened and i'm glad it took place but somehow ... sighhs* well ... coming back home late these few days. on the countdown day i came back about 4? hars .. hadd so muchh fun with my girllfriends. wee* .. am going countdown again this friday. hope things turn for the better!

sighh*

2004-12-21T19:19:00.000-08:00

din go anywhere todayy. stayed at home cause the past few days have been going out besides i was having tuition today. and was suppose to go out with vincent today but he's going to have tuition too in the evening. yea ... so not much to update about todayy.

yesterday:

it was barbeque. our mgs get- together barbeque. had so much funn with my girrlfriends -primary school friends (: before the barbeque .. went to town with deb to do her brows haha finally! then quickly cab back home cause was running late. yea then eve, sarah, evan(eve's sis) came. then came brenda. then elise and audrey. yea ... we ate barbequed food. then we took a lot of pictures. the pictures we took were cool haha we laughed and laughed ... had lotts of fun. talk about primary life .. reminds me of soo many things. the things we did in class .. in school .. after school and the teachers! awww ... it was nice re-calling all those moments. yea ... i thank all of you for making it happen! (: then we talked about some ghost thing. hars .. we were all so scared. evan too .. had to accompany her to the toilet. lol ... yea. most girls are like that yea? haha yupps. then had gift exchange ... we picked and picked then i got this soap thing but exchange with deb cause she said her mum would dont know what so in the end got a mirror. was a very cool mirror indeed. thanks deb for the exchange. lol .. then we had nothing to do then sarah came up with the idea of playing a game. its 'pig game' she created that game. it was funn! yea ... then we were actually having the idea of going to town cause deb wanna go. obviously to see her bf haha. in the end we din so .. it was time to go home and so they all went off.
send them offf ... deb, eve, sarah, evan and elise took a cab home. since brenda and audrey dont stay very far so they took a bus. accompanied brenda to the bus-stop .. we sat there and talk and talk till we were happy then she board the bus. yea then accompanied audrey to the bus-stop on the other side while walking we talked and then tears welled up. sighs*

i thank you all for coming and making this happen. cause i really needed this .. the laughs and the funn to cheer me on. yes .. i may be laughing with you all but my heart. deep down i know its still crying, still hurt. i dont know .. maybe its true cause i din want to spoil everyone's mood. (: well ... thanks everybody. i LOVE you all!

another one.

2004-12-19T03:35:00.000-08:00

yrrrh. guys are jerks. i dont mean to say all the guys out there but i mean SOME of them.
i'm a girl ; pampered, sweet talked, cared, loved.
i'm scared to let myself be caught again in what humans call relationship.

guy+girl=relationship.

i'm so scared now i cant let myself out of the cocoon, knowing to be hurt again.
... girls may think guys are such bastards they do so much to hurt girls and bring so much misery to them. well they dont love doing that but they just continue doing so, if they want to leave you they can come up with so many excuses, and they call themself faithful?

yrrrh NO. X! disagree. guys always say they love you but do they really mean it? they sound as if they understand girls but do they actually? they dont. they say they wont leave you they wont hurt you but in the end?

considering the facts above
to me: girls are better partners. i'm not approving of lesbians here but this is for myself. for every 10 girls out there
who are hurt by guys 9 of them usually turn to girls. thats how lesbians came about.
some may think this way ...

-girls are more understanding
-they tend to be more caring
-know whats on their mind
-some say they're happier being with a girl
-easier to hang around with
- easier for stay over and stuffs

these are the few i can think of now. deb says thats why lesbians last longer. well i dont know. but after all this ... am considering being a les. i know my friends would disapprove and they wouldn't want to mix around with a les. but well i dont know ... my head's starting to pain now. i'd better be off.

BUT. deb said she'll les with me and we said that its GROSS to kiss a girl. i cant bring myself to do that =x.

sad.

2004-12-19T02:46:00.000-08:00

its 2 am now and i'm not asleep. guess i cant sleep todday ; sighs* the word OVER. o-v-e-r explains everything. call me silly call me a fool, i dont know what to do now. i dont know how. my eyes are swollen now and i really dont look nice, how am i to go out tml? i mean today. i'm acccompanying deb to do her brows and my friends are coming over for BBQ. oowww! is it just not my day or something? i just need to be alone. i seriously have no mood for anything now. sighs sighs sighs* but thank deb and vince for being on the phone there for me haha. and so to audrey and eve. i bet its hard for me to forget ;

todayy:

well ... wash up and meet elise at the MRT of junction8. it has been quite awhile since i last been there. yea (: .. then went to meet deb. yea then we shop around town area again ... tired of that place. then me and elise gave deb this butterfly bag ... ohhh she loves butterfly. yea she does ... a lot. then we went to shop for our BBQ's gift exchange for tml.. hard to find but did it in the end. then we walked and met up with evelyn and sarah haha. haven met sarah for quite some time. elise went off.
then catch up with sarah yea and then eve followed sarah bacck to church, deb and me continued walking. yea walked and walked and finally sat down at paragon. landed up there cause deb wanted to do her brows but closed so yea legs were tireed so we sat down, slackk there for about an hour or so then dad picked me up.

friday:

went sentosa with deb and elise. hadd funn today! i love their company ... haha. basically laid there and tanned ourselves. i love my tan, elise's is red and deb? i dont know haha. then hours later ... bunch of indians appeared. they were so irritating they looked at us as if they've never seen girls before. i felt so fed-up so pissed i kept scolding them. then these indians they wanted to dip themselves so they like strip in front of us? i mean plleease. mind you .. we're girls, you dont need to do that right. yrrrh was damn pissed. just carried on scolding. then like they said 'bye' to us before they leave? DISGUSTING! i'm not being racist here or anything but i seriously dont like indians- guys! i had a bad experience thats why. i dont wanna bring it up ): geez. it makes me feel awkward sighs* it happened to me last year. so whenever i see indian guys on the street i would definitely moove myself. yupps mum was there at sentosa too with my brother and maid.

then after that we went to toa payoh cause mum wanted to go there and get something. we were like having so much fun there. cause the things there are extremely cheap and we were like shopping. (: haha ... i've never seen such cheap stuff before .. we were like toally enjoying. we bought a lot of things. yea .. then we went our seperate ways after that.
i seriously hadd so much fun. deb i really do think we've the same taste i mean yea look at it when we go out? cool eh. we share almost the same thinking too? i'm so glad i found you back. haha. i LOVE you a million red m&m [s]. -huggsandkisses.

*there are some memories i've tried so hard to erase.
but somehow your smile still gets stuck in my head.
i guess i just cant forget you.

[[brokenheart]]

second.

2004-12-15T23:28:00.000-08:00

HOLY INNOCENTS' HIGH CHOIR i love you all!

back from the concert. and you all were great! i kept screaming and cheering for you all. gosh i really do miss you all ... miss choir. arrhhh the moment the concert ended i quickly went to the front to look for you all and there! i saw you guys ... i went hugging you all -girls i mean. and i started crying! geez ... i really do miss you all. i hope to go back choir soon .. and pray hard ms yee wont say anything. i like the feeling of sitting down there as an audience esp being YOUR audience. haha .. proud of you all man! i'm so happy i had this one week off if not i wouldnt be able to see you guys perform. ohhh`

met up with elise! haha .. damn happy(: well went to do my IC together with audrey too. and i look so horrible in the photo? arrrh. then went to town ate sakae again! wow ... was so embarassing la cause my heels was stuck and couldnt come out ... elise had to pull it out for me. passer by[s] were like looking then they laughed. geeez ... i totally embarrassed myself la. awww! i'm gonna be real careful the next time i wear heels cause it caught between the tiles .. the cement la. yea ... then evelyn came! haha she went to the concert together with me and audrey ... glad she could make it. haha ... (:

new.

2004-12-14T18:09:00.000-08:00

re-born and girly.
thats what i'm now. change my blog and skin and its all so pink-y. haha.. i want to start my blog a new!

elise's is coming back to singapore today -she's in time for the bbq!!!
went out with debbie and evelyn yesterday. i enojyed myself time sure flies ... just by talking and walking it was sooon for us to go home. i couldnt bear to leave you guys man. esp when eve had to go off early.

hey deb: i enjoyed myself yesterday! din contact you for quite a while since we left school but now we're like together again! re-calling the teachers .. the desk we share in class.. the lessons we had together. the canteen food. awww! it brings back memories ... now we just have to fill in the missing pieces of the puzzle and thats our friendship! and i mean the close-ness, we were kinda of close when P6. your house .. your birthday everything! it wasnt easy for us to keep in contact again but you're leaving us sooon for L.A the thought of it makes so sad. but there's still time before you leave (: so we'll really use this time to glue up the closeness again kays? but the 2nd outing which is yesterday aredy made me feel so warm. i felt that we actually had many things in common and we do yea? i LOVE you!